Problems With Food Man, I forgot to say, I was eating this steak that had been browned on both sides at high heat, then put on low heat for five minutes and then sherry and butter were added and it was left for another two minutes.

Anyway, it was SO GOOD and I asked the waiter, who knows me, we're old war buddies, I asked him I said "HEY ABDUL? HEY? HEY ABDUL?" and then when I'd got his attention I said "Dude this fuckin' steak is amazing Alhamdolillah! Why come it's so good Abdul?"

And Abdul, I saved his fuckin' ass in the war man, Abdul says "That steak was taken from the cow that drinks only water that has flown over sacred diamonds and eats only grass that has grown on the graves of the bravest martyrs."

And I say "Seriously? Bravest martyrs? Shiiiit, that fuckin' explains it then, what happened to the rest of it? Like, can I get some super martyr cow ribs or something?"

And Abdul, this one time in the war he shot this guy, Abdul says "All traces of the cow have been destroyed, they have been broken into thier constituent atoms and spread across creation."

So I'm like, woah, deep, and I stare at the fillet on my fork for a second and I say: "So if you were attempting to describe this steak you could say it's pretty rare?" Abdul nodded and I chewed thoughtfully.

"So you could say, you could say, that this steak is like...one in a mignon?"

Abdul nodded again and I let him get back to his waitering.

Fuckin' amazing steak, I shit you not.  ¶ 12:56 AM 0 Comments